Love Sick
by MarcoFreckledJesusBodt
Summary: Jean Kirschtein befriends fellow student, Marco Bodt. But when Jean finds out that Marco is sick, he does all he can to make his life better. To make him happy and give him anything he wants. And he's one-hundred percent sure that he will succeed.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Jean Kirschtein befriends fellow student, Marco Bodt. But when Jean finds out that Marco is sick, he does all he can to make his life better. To make him happy and give him anything he wants. And he's one-hundred percent sure that he _will_ succeed.**

**Once again, this is an idea I've had in my head for a while but I never really knew how to start it, but it eventually came to me. Also, I had no idea on what to name this so I hope 'Love Sick' is alright. :3c Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it, and thanks for reading!  
**

* * *

This was _sooo _boring! The professor was boring, the class was boring - everything about college was boring. Absolutely everything. And Jean really couldn't wait until he would graduate, which actually wasn't that far away. Just a few more months and Jean would finally be leaving this hell-hole.

But he'd still have his parents to deal with, knowing that they would just keep nagging at him until he got a job or something. And he would find one...eventually.

Jean snapped out of his small reverie the moment the bell rang. _I finally get to go home, _he thought as he began packing up his things. He then headed out of the classroom and began making his way down the hall to leave. But, when he saw Mikasa out of the corner of his eyes, he just kind of...stood there, watching her.

Mikasa Ackerman was such a beautiful girl. Smart, too. And Jean was determined to make her let him take her out on a date. _One_ date was all he wanted. But there was one problem; she was always hanging around with Eren Jaeger. She was like the...protective older sister.

And that was unfortunate for Jean.

They weren't actually blood related, but they were still very, _very _close and would do anything for each other. And would also do anything for their friend, Armin Arlert. Who was always Jean's friend, and the brunet could always go to him if he just wanted to talk to him. Or if he needed help with some work.

"Watch where you're going, asshole!"

The sound of Eren's voice brought Jean out of his thoughts, thinking that he was actually talking to him. But he wasn't anywhere near him, so he obviously hadn't been talking to him. And then he saw someone on the floor, and Eren was walking away from them, so he assumed that it was the kid on the floor he had been talking to.

"_You _watch where _you're _going, Jaeger!" Jean yelled back as he made his way over to the other male, helping him up and then picking up his backpack. "Are you okay...?" He asked as he handed him his bag.

The taller male just nodded and quietly thanked Jean as he took his bag back, slinging it over his shoulder. He then turned around to leave, but Jean's hand on his arm stopped him.

"Hey, wait! I don't mean to sound like a complete asshole but... Who are you? I mean, what's your name?"

"...Marco Bodt."

And just as Jean was about to tell Marco what _his _name was, he was already walking away, leaving Jean standing there on his own with his mouth open slightly. Now Jean was curious what his problem was, and who he was. What kind of personality did he have? Jean couldn't remember seeing him in any of his classes.

He was sure they'd at least have one or two classes together, but Jean hadn't seen him in _any _of them. Maybe he actually was in some of Jean's classes, but he didn't see him. He seemed like the kind of person that...didn't get noticed a lot.

Sighing softly, Jean shook his head and finally made his way out of the building. But on the way out, he was asking himself who this Marco guy was. Apparently he wasn't in Eren's good books. But then again, Eren was an asshole to everyone. Well... Everyone except Armin and Mikasa.

Jean met up with his own friends once outside, Connie Springer and Sasha Blouse. And he had to ask his friends if they'd ever seen or heard of Marco. And they hadn't. Why was the guy invisible to everyone?

God, Jean would hate to be invisible to everyone.

The brunet was too busy thinking about Marco that he hadn't even noticed that he and his friends were soon at his house. He was only brought out of his thoughts when Connie lightly punched his arm, laughing as he asked him he was thinking about Mikasa.

"Shut up, man. I'll see you guys tomorrow." He called to them as he headed up the path to his house and headed inside, getting some food before going upstairs to his bedroom. He had homework to do, but he spent the rest of day and night playing some video games before actually going to sleep.

.

.

.

The next day when he went to college, Jean immediately began looking around for Marco, and he even looked for him during his classes. When it was time for lunch, he didn't even see him in the cafeteria, and it made him wonder if he was imagining things. No, wait. He couldn't be. Eren had obviously saw him, too. However, there was actually one place he hadn't looked yet.

The library.

Jean only went in there when he actually wanted some peace and quiet, or he had some homework to do at the last minute. Well, actually, he did have some homework to do, so it was a good thing he was heading up to the library. But, instead of doing homework, he immediately began looking down the aisles for Marco, and eventually he found him. He was just sitting on his own, listening to his music and reading a book. He looked alone...and sad.

Before he even knew it, Jean was walking over to him and sitting down next to him, causing the other to quickly remove his headphones and look at Jean. His brows furrowed in slight confusion as he stared at the shorter male, wondering why he was sitting with him. Surely he had some more interesting people to be around. Marco was quiet for a few more minutes before he eventually spoke up. "...thank you for helping me yesterday. I'm sorry I suddenly rushed off, but I just wanted to get home."

"Yeah, I can understand the feeling of wanting to get home." Jean laughed softly, holding his hand out and smiling when Marco took it. "I'm Jean Kirschtein. And don't worry about, Jaeger, by the way. He's an asshole to everybody."

Marco nodded and smiled a little as he looked back down to the book he was currently reading, playing with the corner of the page before looking at Jean when he asked what book he was reading. "You'll probably laugh at me when I tell you."

"I promise I won't."

"...Pride and Prejudice."

"Romance?"

"I've always liked these kind of books. But, it does make me wonder if I will ever find someone who can make me happy and put up with me." He chuckled, closing the book over after bookmarking at. He looked at Jean again and then looked down once more, switching off his music.

Jean pursed his lips a little as he watched the other. What was going through his mind? Why was he hiding himself away in the library? Standing up, Jean brushed his clothes off and pulled Marco up to his feet after picking up the book and his phone. "Let's go for a walk, I want to get to know you." He said with a bright smile. His homework could wait, and he didn't care if he got in trouble for it. At the moment, Marco was more important.

There was something about this guy that made Jean feel all...warm inside. And not to mention that his smile was contagious.

Marco had been reluctant about going on a walk, but eventually gave in and just nodded, following Jean out of the library. He wasn't going to give up the chance to make a friend. He didn't have a lot of friends, actually, he didn't have a lot of friends. But he didn't want Jean to know that, because he definitely would laugh at him then.

As the two of them walked, they stayed quiet for a long, long while before Jean eventually broke that silence. "So! Uh, how old are you?"

"I'm 19. I'll be 20 in a few months, though. You?"

"I'm 18."

Marco nodded, looking down at the ground and then back to Jean when he saw him sitting on a bench, immediately walking over to sit down next to him. And...the two of them were quiet again. But Marco really didn't mind, he actually enjoyed the silence. And since he was sitting with someone, it was actually more relaxing to him. That was probably just him, though.

Jean didn't feel the exact same way as Marco. He didn't like silence, it was something he had always hated. It was uncomfortable and awkward. So, he tried really hard to think of something to talk about. Anything! Unfortunately for him, he couldn't think of anything. At least, not straight away. When he finally thought of something to think about, he looked at Marco and smiled. "Hey, Marco. What's your story?"

"...my story...?"

"Yeah, your story. Where were you born? Do you have any siblings? What's your favourite colour? Things like that." Jean smiled at him, and Marco immediately smiled back at him before looking down. His..."story" wasn't something he liked talking about. It wasn't a happy story, and he didn't want to make Jean upset because of it. But Jean had asked, and Marco was going to tell him.

"I was actually born in France, but my parents and I moved here when I was still young. They thought it would be a better place, and they were right. I don't have any siblings, I'm an only child. Which can be fun sometimes, but it's also lonely."

"Ugh, yeah. I know how you feel, I'm also an only child." Jean murmured as he rubbed the back of his head before leaning back against the bench, glancing over to the freckled male before closing his eyes. "Anything else you want to tell me? I mean, we're friends now, you can tell me anything."

The older of the two looked down at his feet and frowned, playing with his own fingers. "Well, since we're friends, I think you should know that I'm sick, and I mean _really _sick. I've been sick for a good few years, and the doctors still haven't managed to find out what's wrong with me. They've gave me all sorts of medication, and none of it has worked." He murmured, keeping his eyes on the ground as he could feel Jean staring at him.

"I'm strong, though, I know I'll get through this. My mother is obviously still worried. When I was in high school, she would always try and get me to stay home so I could be home schooled." He chuckled, shaking his head. "I told her that I wasn't going to hide away, and I went to school every day. Well, there were a few days where I just couldn't deal with anything and didn't go, but that didn't matter. I mean, if wanted to pick on me, they could. I kept my head held high and I ignored them completely. I still get picked on, believe it or not. I actually heard someone saying today that I look like Death himself..."

As Jean had listened to Marco, his smile immediately disappeared and it was replaced with a frown. Jesus, Marco had went through a lot. And even when he was picked on, he still went to school. He _was _strong. And he...also kind of did look like Death. It was like he hadn't slept for weeks, but Jean wouldn't say anything about it. The brunet gave him a soft smile and placed his hand on his back. "You're brave, Marco. Not a lot of people would do what you done if they were getting bullied at school. And you _are _strong." He smiled even more when Marco smiled back at him, then stood up and pulled Marco up with him again. "Let's go do something else."

"W-wait, we have classes to go to-"

"Hey, I still haven't done my homework for a few of those classes, so I really don't want to go to them right now."

Marco stared at him and then just chuckled as he followed behind him, shaking his head. Jean was such a weird person. Funny, but weird. At least, he was weird to Marco. But then again, the freckled male did actually think that a lot of people were weird, and Jean definitely wasn't as weird as them. Marco couldn't help but think that this was the start of a wonderful friendship.


	2. Chapter 2

Months had passed and it took a while, but Marco had been right about him and Jean having a great friendship. They spent a lot of time together, and it wasn't just at college. They would go to each others houses or just stay outside and go to a park. But the thing was, Marco really didn't care where they went. As long as he was with Jean, he was happy because so far he'd so much happier, even his parents had noticed it. And _that _had made _them _happy. It had been a while since they saw their son that happy.

It was probably stupid, but Marco was glad that he had been pushed to the ground by Eren that day. Because if he hadn't, he probably would've never met Jean. He probably would've continued to be...invisible to him.

He had even told Jean that a few weeks after hanging around with him, and found out that Jean was also glad it happened for the exact same reason. And it only made Marco much happier to hear that. Then again, he was always happy around Jean, even if they weren't doing anything.

Like right now.

The two of them were actually at Marco's house, Jean laying on Marco's bed and throwing a paper ball into the air, and Marco was sitting at his desk, typing away at his laptop. Of course, since it was very easy for Jean to get bored, he got up after a few minutes and began looking around Marco's bedroom to see what kind of things he liked.

It was his birthday _tomorrow_, and he still hadn't got him anything. So he had to try and find out what he liked to get him something that he would like. He'd try to get him something a few weeks before, but that didn't go well because he had absolutely _no idea_ what to get him. Yes, he kind of knew what the freckled male liked, but not enough to know what to get him for his birthday.

He just wanted to get him something that he would really, really like and would...cherish it forever, as cheesy as that sounded. But he really didn't know what kind of thing that would be.

Jean glanced over to Marco before turning his attention back to his things, looking through one of his notebooks and reading through it. He then stopped at a certain page and looked over to Marco again, grinning. "Hey, what is this? 'Things To Do Before I'm 30'~?"

Marco immediately stopped what he was doing and turned around to look at Jean, cheeks heating up. "P-Put that down!" He quickly got up and walked over to Jean to get the notebook, but Jean just walked away from him, reading the list. "Oh, look. Ride a motorcycle is on here~ Wait. You haven't done that yet?"

"...I always thought it would be dangerous. But one time, I got very close to actually doing it."

"And then what happened?"

"I backed out because I...got scared."

Jean blinked and removed his gaze from the paper to look at Marco, who now had his arms crossed and was looking anywhere but Jean. The shorter of the two grinned wide, chuckling softly. "Well, you're in luck. I actually have a motorcycle. And I can do some of these other things with you. I mean, only if you want me to."

"I'd like you to do that, but can I please get it back?"

"Yeah, sure." Jean closed it over and handed him, watching as he put it in his desk drawer and then sat back down to resume what he was doing. The only reason he mentioned the motorcycle one was because there were a few...embarrassing things on there. They weren't embarrassing to Jean, but they definitely would've been embarrassing to _Marco. _

Like having a first kiss.

That was one of the things that would embarrass Marco, and Jean actually _did _want to mention it. But as said before, Marco would find it embarrassing and then probably kick Jean out, and Jean didn't want to be kicked out. Well, actually, he doubted that Marco was that kind of person.

_He _wouldn't mind kissing Marco. But only because it would help him cross it off the list, and it wouldn't be as embarrassing! That was the _only _reason he would do it.

Anyway, it wasn't like he was going to make fun of Marco for not having kissed someone before. Maybe he was the kind of person that wanted for that..."special someone". Jean had his first kiss in high school. And it went further than just a little kiss. He regretted it now, but he hadn't then. Obviously he didn't regret it then, he was a teenage boy with raging hormones.

Sometimes he _still _acted like a teenage boy with raging hormones. Which tended to get him in quite a bit of trouble whenever he felt that way.

So, yes, he did regret doing what he done in high school and he wished he was like Marco, waiting for that one person that. The person that would make him happy no matter what. That one person that wasn't afraid to show their love.

"-an. Jean!"

Jean blinked when he saw Marco waving his hand in his face. He took a step back and chuckled softly as he rubbed the back of his head. "Are you okay? I've been calling your name for the past five minutes..."

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I didn't mean to worry you, I was just thinking about some things. Nothing important." Jean murmured, moving to sit on the bed and then watching Marco again as he sat back down on his chair, nodding. "So, why were you calling my name?"

"I was going to ask you if you wanted to go for a walk."

"How 'bout I take you for a ride on my motorcycle~?"

"...I don't want to go for a ride..."

"Why not, are you scared~?" Jean teased, causing Marco to throw a pen at him.

"N-no!"

"Then let's do it."

"...fine!"

The shorter of the two immediately grinned and stood back up, brushing off his clothes. He then watched as Marco done the same, slipping on his shoes and jacket after shutting down his laptop. Then the two of them headed out the room, downstairs and out of the house.

Once they were outside and Marco saw Jean's motorcycle, he immediately to just...back out again. It's not like he _had _to do it, he had only put it on the list because it sounded _fun _to do it. And now he was wishing that he hadn't put it on. Actually, he was wishing that Jean hadn't even found it. "Wait! You've only got one helmet, both riders are supposed to have a helmet, and-"

Marco was cut off when the helmet was placed on him and he stared at Jean, who just grinned at him. "Marco, it'll be _fine_, stop worrying so much. We'll only be out for a few minutes, okay?"

"Okay." Marco murmured after a while, very hesitant. Oh God, he was going to _die_.

.

.

.

They weren't gone for just a few minutes. No, they were gone for a few _hours. _

Now, Marco would blame it on the fact that they had lost of track of time, but they had actually stopped at a cafe to get something to eat and drink, and saw the time in there. But they didn't go back to Marco's place, or even Jean's place!

They eventually did go to Jean's house, though it was pretty late when they actually got there. But Jean's parents were actually still at work, it was something that he was used to. "See, I told you it wasn't so bad." Jean chuckled as he removed the helmet from Marco's head once the two of them had gotten of the bike. "You had fun, didn't you?"

"...yes, I did have fun, and I would actually like to do it again. But next time, I want you to wear a helmet, too." He muttered as he followed Jean into his house, sitting down on the couch. "And, when you say that we're only going to do it for a few minutes, make sure that it actually _is _a few minutes!" He huffed, watching as Jean sat down next to him and shrugged.

"You still had fun, that was the main thing. And now you can cross it off your list."

Yes, Jean knew that Marco wouldn't have been happy about staying out for longer than they were supposed, but he just wanted to freckled male to have fun. And he was really glad that he did. Now he just had to do the other things with him. Well, except for the kissing one... And the other embarrassing ones. He was pretty sure that Marco did not want Jean to kiss him. Hell, Jean didn't even know if Marco was gay. Jean wouldn't mind if he was, he was supportive of them.

Jean didn't swing that way, though it was pretty obvious since he keeps trying to get Mikasa to let him take her out on a date. And he still didn't have any luck.

Besides, Marco probably didn't want to kiss him because, as said before, he was just waiting for the right person. And Jean was definitely _not _that person, at least he didn't think he was. Oh God, it'd be pretty awkward if Marco did end up feeling that away about him, because Jean was straight. 100% straight. And he really didn't want to let him down.

Shaking his head and sighing softly, Jean leaned back against the couch and glanced over to Marco before closing his eyes. "...so, do you wanna watch a movie? You can go ahead and pick which one you want to watch, if you _do _want to watch one, and I'll make some popcorn." He murmured, eyes only opening again when he no longer felt Marco sitting next to him.

Instead of actually going to get the popcorn like he said he was going to do, he just kind of...stared at Marco, watching him as he began looking through the shelves of movies. And as he watched him, he couldn't help but think that Marco had a pretty nice body. Yeah, he was sick, but he still had a nice body. And he was good-looking. Well, he was when he _wasn't_ looking like Death. Eventually, Jean removed his eyes from Marco and got up to make the popcorn.

Once he had done that it and put it in a bowl, he walked back into the living room and switched off the lights. "What did you pick?"

"..._PS, I Love You_. I going to assume that it belongs to your mother?"

"Aha, yeah..." It didn't. It didn't belong to his mother. It actually did belong to Jean. He wouldn't admit it to anyone except his parents, but he kind of enjoyed watching a romance movie from time to time. He had quite a few up in his room, and he was sure that one had been up in his room, too. Unless his mother had brought it down to watch it. He was just going to blame it on her anyway.

Snapping out of his thoughts, Jean set up the movie and then placed the bowl of popcorn between them so Marco could get some. He then took a handful of it, eyes glued on the screen as the movie started up.

However, by the end of the movie, Marco was fast asleep, curled up at one end of the couch. Jean had fallen asleep, too, but he'd woke up a few minutes later to see that the credits were now on the screen. The brunet glanced over to the clock and then to Marco, slowly moving the popcorn as he got off the couch. Jean didn't know what to do now. He wanted to move Marco and take him to a bed so he wouldn't be uncomfortable. But at the same time, he didn't want to move because he looked so peaceful.

But now since Marco was asleep, Jean now had more time to think on what to get Marco for his birthday, which was now today since it was currently one in the morning. Jean was never great with gifts, but he really wanted to get him something. Or even make him something. Make him something... That actually wasn't a bad idea. He'd still like it, wouldn't he?

Setting the popcorn on the coffee table, and then heading upstairs to get his laptop. If he wanted to make him something, then he'd have to look on the internet for a few ideas. And after a while of searching, he did eventually find something that he thought would be a good thing to do. Hopefully Marco would like it. Though, he was pretty sure that the freckled male would actually like it.

.

.

.

Making the gift actually took longer than it should've, mainly because Jean would get distracted by playing games and would occasionally fall in and out of sleep. But he eventually got it done, then went straight to sleep. Of course, he had forgotten about Marco sleeping on the couch since he had been busy making the gift, and had obviously gotten distracted.

After it was done, he went straight to sleep, not even bothering to turn off his laptop.

And, when morning came around, Marco was the first one awake. He usually was the first one awake even when at his own house, he didn't like sleeping in any later than he had to. Apparently Jean had no problem with doing that. But, he had only woken up because he heard people entering the house. The freckled male immediately sat up when he felt eyes on him, apologizing to Jean's parents for falling asleep on the couch. Once off the couch, he just kind of...stood there, not knowing what to do.

But when his friend's parents told him to go upstairs to look for Jean, he immediately done that. He walked into Jean's bedroom, having been in there before, and chuckled quietly when he saw his friend sprawled out on the bed with his laptop sitting on his desk. He quietly walked over and shut the laptop down, glancing to the scrapbook that was next to it. He tried hard to resist the urge to look through it, but Marco was a very curious and he eventually did look through it.

However, what he _didn't_ expect was to see photos of himself and Jean. And they had little notes next to them, some of them making Marco chuckle. Yes, he was aware that Jean apparently liked to take a lot of photos of them both, whether it be on his phone or an actual camera, but he didn't think he'd put them in a scrapbook.

"...Marco, what are you doing?"

Marco immediately put the scrapbook down at the sound of Jean's voice, turning around to look at him. He cleared his throat and pretended he wasn't doing anything at all, cheeks heating up slightly. "N-Nothing.."

The two of them stared at each other for quite a while before Jean finally realized what Marco had been looking at. He quickly got up out of bed, stumbling a little since he had his sheets tangled in his legs. "You weren't supposed to look at that yet! I was going to give it to you later as a surprise."

"You were going to give it to me? I thought it was yours-"

"No, it's yours. I didn't know what to get you for your birthday, so I decided that I would make you something. I mean, it's last minute, but I hope you like it. And, by the way, happy birthday."

Marco smiled as he looked to the scrapbook and then back to Jean, wrapping his arms around him in a hug. "Thank you, Jean. But you didn't have to get me anything, or even make me anything. I would've been fine with just a card that said 'happy birthday'." He murmured as he slowly pulled away and looked at the scrapbook once more. He loved it, he really did. And it reminded him of how happy the two of them were together. And he liked the little notes that Jean had put next to the photos.

"I wanted to do it. And since it's your birthday, we're going to do the things on your list. Well, _most_ of the things on your list." Jean chuckled softly, putting his hand on Marco's shoulder and giving it a soft squeeze.

The freckled male only nodded as he watched Jean pull away and head into the bathroom. He then looked back to the scrapbook and opened it, looking through it again. "Oh, Jean. Your parents are back from work, I thought I would let you know. And I think I should get home to see my own parents..." He murmured, glancing back over to the other when he peeked his head out of the bathroom.

"Do you have to go?"

"Yes."

"But I'll be bored, and have nothing to do."

"I'm sure you'll find something to do, Jean. Besides, I doubt you'll be bored for long since you're planning on helping me with my list." Marco chuckled, smiling at him. "Come by my house when you want to start doing the things, alright?" He gave Jean one last hug before leaving the bedroom, going downstairs and then leaving the house.

Today was going to be fun, he was sure of it. Then again, he would think it was fun even if he and Jean sat around and done nothing.


	3. Chapter 3

They spent the _entire _day together, not that either of them minded, of course. And since they had spent the day together, doing things that were on Marco's list, Marco was able to cross pretty much everything off of that list.

Everything but having his first kiss and...other things.

At the current moment, the two of them were actually in Marco's bedroom, playing some video games. Well, they had been... Until Jean kept losing and decided to just give up. Though, he didn't say it was because he kept losing. He said it was because he was tired, and Marco only laughed at him.

"If you're tired, then you can go to sleep."

"What will you do?"

"...I'll probably just play some more games." The freckled male murmured, giving Jean a soft smile before turning his attention back to the TV. Marco would've actually liked to also go to sleep, but it looked like Jean was going to sleep in his bed, and it would be uncomfortable for him to lay next to him. Yes, he knew he could've just told Jean to go sleep on the couch or something, but Marco wasn't that kind of person, he really wasn't. He didn't have the heart to say no to him.

And besides, Jean already looked like he was about to fall asleep anyway.

So, Marco did just continue to play some video games, but he was beginning to get bored after a while. And now that Jean had fallen asleep, he couldn't exactly ask him to play another game with him. Well, he probably wouldn't have asked him even if he was awake since he didn't want him to get frustrated again. Sighing softly, the freckled male eventually switched off the console and stretched once he stood him. He then made his way over to his desk, but stopped when his arm was suddenly grabbed. He turned to look at Jean, who was staring at him.

Oh, so he hadn't been asleep.

"Marco, if you want to go to sleep, then you can. I won't try anything."

"How am I supposed to believe you?" Marco muttered, then chuckled softly when Jean puffed out his cheeks.

Well, he was actually getting tired. And it was also late, so it best if he just went to sleep. The freckled male slowly moved to sit down on the bed and then lay down, trying not to frown when Jean let go of him. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but Marco had began liking Jean more than a friend. He didn't know _when_ it happened, he just know that it _did. _But he did know that if he was ever going to get his first kiss, he wanted it to be with Jean.

Sighing softly, Marco moved to get under the covers, pulling them closer and closing his eyes as he nuzzled his pillow a little. He relaxed at the warmth of being under the covers, not knowing that Jean was staring at him as he was on the verge of falling asleep. Apparently he was more tired than he thought he was.

Jean couldn't help himself as he continued to stare at the freckled more, frowning deeply. From a distance, Marco didn't look sick, but he did look tired. He looked _really _tired, and that was the reason why people said he looked like Death. But, laying here and being so close to him, made Jean realize just how sick the other was. How _weak_ he was. And he wanted to do something for him, something to help him.

But was there really anything he could do?

He didn't know Marco for as long as he had known his other friends, but he still cared for him a lot. And he really would do anything for him. Anything to get him better. Anything to make him happy. If he couldn't get him better, then he would make him happy. Every hour of every day. Because if Marco couldn't get better, then that meant that... No. Jean wasn't going to think about that right.

Great, because of what he was just thinking about, Jean was on the verge of crying. He didn't want Marco to know, though, so he quickly brought his hands up and began wiping at his eyes. This was stupid, Marco was going to be _fine. _One hundred percent fine. Jean would make sure of it. As said before, he would do everything he could to make him happy.

Even if that meant kissing him. And that was exactly what he done at the moment.

However, the second their lips touched, Jean immediately pulled away, cheeks heating up. The two of them stared at each other, not saying anything at all. Well, Marco hadn't been expecting that. He thought Jean would've also just went to sleep. Hell, he thought Jean was straight! Then again, he could have just kissed him to make him happy.

"Jean, why did you-"

Marco was cut off when Jean kissed him again, cupping his face. And this time it wasn't just a peck on the lips, it was an actual kiss. The freckled male could feel his heart racing, face flushed. This was his first kiss, and he was sharing it with Jean. The only person he had wanted to have his first kiss with. He slowly moved his arms to wrap them around the other's neck.

And when the two of them pulled away again, they just looked into each others eyes without saying a single word. Because, really, nothing had to be said. Before they both finally went to sleep, they kissed some more, but when they did go to sleep, they were both as close to each other as they possibly could be, Jean holding Marco close with his face buried into his hair.

.

.

.

Things were like that for months. They would spend a lot more time together, and most of it was either spent in Jean's bedroom or Marco's bedroom. But all they would ever do was just hug and kiss and talk about how their day was. Jean would complain about his classes, Marco would listen. Jean would complain about Eren, Marco would listen. That was really all he ever done.

He just...listened.

He never had anything to talk about anyway, so it was best for him to just listen.

But a few months later, and Jean noticed that Marco was beginning to get distant. He wouldn't see Jean as much, he wouldn't talk to him. When Jean would go to Marco's house to see him, his mother would tell him that he didn't want to see anyone at the moment, or make up some other excuse. So it just made him worry about his friend. Or rather, _boyfriend._

It actually made him think he had done something wrong. No, he couldn't have. They had both admitted to each other one night that they loved each other, and then...things went a little further, and after that was when Marco stopped talking to him and seeing him. Wait. Maybe doing that had been the wrong thing to do. No, wait, it couldn't have been, because the older of the two had wanted it to happen just as much as Jean.

So...why was he avoiding him? Why was he avoiding everybody? Jean didn't even see him in school anymore.

Jean didn't know, but he really did want to. And he was determined to find out today. He already felt bad for not seeing Marco the past two weeks, but he'd tests to study for and it was just taking up a lot of his time, so he couldn't really see Marco as much as he used to. But to make up for it, he bought him a bouquet of flowers. He'd only gotten him flowers since he knew that Marco actually liked flowers - roses to be exact. And everyone knew that roses were romantic.

But when he got to Marco's house, he didn't expect to see an ambulance there, the first thing coming to his mind was that something that had happened to Marco. And then his fears were confirmed when he saw the freckled male being taken into the back of the ambulance van before it drove off. And he didn't waste any time in following it, Marco's parents also heading to the hospital, too.

However, when they got there, they weren't allowed to see Marco, and this only worried the three of them. Well, worried them even more. And Jean would've liked to have said that he was worried a lot more than Marco's parents, but then he would just be lying.

Unfortunately for them, they had to stay in the waiting room for what felt like _hours. _Jean obviously had to go outside a few times to call his parents and tell them what was happening before heading back inside. He tried his best to comfort Marco's parents, but he never was good at that sort of thing, so he just kind of...gave up after a while. And after he had stopped pacing back and forth, he ended up dozing off in one of the chairs.

It wasn't for long, though.

When he was shaken awake, Jean immediately sat upright and rubbed his eyes before running his hand through his hair, glancing over to the doctor that was now talking to Marco's parents. But he decided to stay where he was, just watching the three of them. And when he saw the doctor shaking his head and Marco's mother beginning to break down into sobs, Jean felt as if someone had reached into his chest at that very moment and ripped out his heart, crushing it in to tiny thousands of pieces.

Marco was...gone...? No, he couldn't be. Marco was strong and he and Jean still had so much things to do together, like get a house together and...and get married and-

The eighteen year old was brought of his thoughts when he felt arms being wrapped around him and he immediately hugged Marco's father back, already crying. He didn't know when he had started crying, but he _had _at one point and now he couldn't stop. His best friend, his boyfriend, was _gone_. And Jean wasn't sure if Marco had been happy.

Yeah, he looked happy, but that didn't necessarily mean that he _was _happy. God, he just really hoped that he had been happy because Jean had spent most of his time trying to make him happy, and _he _wouldn't be happy if Marco hadn't been happy and- _Ugh. _This was so frustrating, and upsetting. But...at least they were able to cross everything off of Marco's list. And that same list was really the reason they had gotten together.

So, he was happy that he was able to help Marco with his list, and make him happy. He was sure now that he had made him happy and he was glad, even if he'd only been able to make him a little bit.

.

.

.

Marco's funeral happened a a few weeks later, and Jean had to really think about it before actually going to it. His parents were the ones that actually made him go as he didn't want to go because he knew that he'd end up a crying mess. He was a crying mess on the way there and once he was back home. He just hadn't expected for it to happen so...suddenly.

But it did, and Jean had lost someone close to him. He'd find himself just looking at photos of himself and Marco that he had taken on his phone, but that ended up with him crying, so he eventually stopped doing that because he soon felt like he couldn't cry anymore. But he could, and he did when Marco's parents invited him to the house because they had found a few things in Marco's room that were actually addressed to Jean.

And once there, Jean couldn't help but go into Marco's now slightly empty room. That was actually what had made the eighteen year old cry. Standing in the room and knowing that what had happened was actually real hurt him a lot. It hurt him more than he'd like to admit.

"...we know that you probably don't like being here, Jean, but we didn't know where you lived, so we couldn't really come and give you the things that Marco had left for you." Marco's mother whispered, now standing in the doorway of Marco's room. She walked over and looked through some of the things before picking up a small box and handing it to Jean, causing the brunet to raise an eyebrow. "He...he left a _box_ of things for me?"

"Yes, though some of them are actually some photos of you and himself that he had printed off. I'm sure he printed _all_ of them off." She chuckled softly.

Jean looked down at the box and then back to the woman, giving her a small smile and thanking her. He then stayed in the room for a while longer before leaving, making his way back to his own house. Or, well, he had been planning on going back home, but instead he went to the nearby graveyard, looking around for a while before finding Marco's grave. A few days after Marco's funeral, Jean had started going to the graveyard and just sat at Marco's grave, talking for hours and hours. Or..._crying_ for hours and hours, not that it could be helped. He had lost someone very close to him.

"Hey, buddy." He sighed as he sat down next to the grave, opening up the box. "Your mom gave me a box of stuff that were addressed to me. Including photos you printed off. Uh, wow, that's actually _a lot _of photos."

There was actually a lot of photos, Jean didn't think Marco had taken this many. And there were actually a few of Jean sleeping, but he would consider it payback for the times he took photos of him sleeping.

After moving the photos out of the way, he found a few envelopes addressed to him, raising an eyebrow. When he opened them and read them, he made sure to read them out loud. Most of the letters were just about how Marco was and how he knew that his condition was getting worse, and that was the reason why he hadn't wanted Jean to see him. Others were about how much he loved Jean and he made sure to write in the letter that Jean did, in fact, make him happy.

And by the time he had finished reading them, Jean was a crying mess once again, sniffling and frantically wiping at his face.

But that didn't stop him from looking through the rest of the contents, finding one last letter. He waited until he had stopped crying before actually reading it, not wanting to get it wet. He let out a long sigh and took the letter out of the envelope, opening it as he began reading, still reading out loud.

_'Dear Jean, _

_ I have a feeling that this is going to be the last letter I write to you, but it's not like I can stop it from happening. Everyone has already tried their best to stop it, and I know you have too, and I want to thank you for that. And know that you did actually make me happy, I know that since you haven't seen me these past few weeks, you're probably thinking that you've done something wrong, but believe me, you haven't. I just don't want to see anyone at the moment.  
_

_But that doesn't mean I don't love you, because I really do. And, to be honest with you, I'm glad that Eren pushed me to the ground on that day. Because if he hadn't...we might have never met. And just thinking about not having met you, hurts. Because you've made me really happy, Jean, and you were there for me when I just wanted to be held. You're a wonderful person with an amazing personality. I...honestly think of anything else to write, I feel like I've already told you everything I wanted to in the other letters. _

_However, I will remind you that even in the afterlife, I still love you, Jean. I will be watching over you. I could even be next to you at the moment and you wouldn't know. But, thank you for everything you have done for me, and everything you've said to me just to make me happy. I'm glad I met someone like you, and I hope you can make someone else just as happy as you've made me.  
_

_Forever yours, _

_Marco.' _

Jean couldn't help it, by the time he was finished reading the letter, he was crying yet again. Though, he was crying a lot harder than the other times, and now he just couldn't stop. Damn Marco for...everything. For being sick, for being sweet and kind, for...dying. But Jean knew it wasn't his fault. It wasn't fair, none of it was! Marco still had to live his life, but he couldn't because of his sickness. At least Jean had been able to make him happy. After all, that was what his intentions were in the first place.

The brunet eventually stopped crying, but he had to force himself to stop as he was beginning to get a headache and now his throat hurt. He wiped at his face again and then picked up the envelope to put the letter back in it, but he then noticed that there was something else in the envelope, and it made him wonder how the Hell he'd missed it the first time.

Sniffling softly, Jean took out the sheet of paper and unfolded it, letting out a small laugh when he saw what it was. It was Marco's list. And it had all of the things crossed off, and at the bottom of the page it said 'thank you for helping me complete this, Jean, thank you for _everything_. I love you'. He looked over the list again and then looked at Marco's grave, shaking his head. "I love you, too, Marco. And I always will. Thank you for giving me a lot of stuff, and writing a bunch of letters that I'm probably going to read every night before I go to bed, and make myself cry." He chuckled, looking back down at the letter and list.

"I really am glad that I was able to make you happy, because that's what I wanted. I wanted you to be happy, and to know that I was the one to make you happy, makes me even happier." He murmured, then began looking around. "And if you are here with me at the moment, then I'll tell you right now that I miss you a lot. I really do, I feel like there's a big hole in my chest where my heart is supposed to be. And...I just wish I could have _done _something to have made you better, or to at least make you live longer. But I'm not magic, I can't do those kind of things." He whispered, now frowning as he kept his eyes on the paper, then looked to a photo of himself and Marco.

He smiled and tilted his head back, closing his eyes. But he opened his eyes again when a cold chill ran down his spine, beginning to look around before closing his eyes again. However, he had a feeling that the chill he had just got was Marco. It was Marco letting him know that he was there with him. But what he didn't know was that Marco actually _was_ there with him, just watching him.

And he always would be.


End file.
